#12: Delete your scarcity mindset
HURRY! Listen now! This episode will expire in 13 hours, 49 minutes, and 37 seconds! You know that’s nonsense, right? Okay, but do you also realise that it’s nonsense that those other opportunities you’re considering - that not-quite-right project, that far-from-ideal job - are scarce resources that you’d better grab before they’re gone, or regret it forever? Join the Academic Imperfectionist to find out why it’s okay to hold out for what you really want, and for the lowdown on how to tell when your scarcity mindset is standing in your way.
Episode transcript:
Do you ever find yourself accepting an opportunity that isn't quite what you want because you're afraid you might never get a better offer? Stop and listen to this episode.
You're listening to The Academic Imperfectionist. I'm Dr Rebecca Roache. I'm a coach and a philosopher at the University of London, and week by week, I'll be drawing on philosophical analysis and coaching insights to help you dump perfectionism and flourish on your own terms.
Hello, imperfectionists. After the last podcast episode, where you had a background soundtrack of hammering rain, I've now got the window open, and you might hear birds singing and the occasional aircraft. So happy summer, if that's what this is. Today, I want to talk to you about scarcity mindset, which is the belief that there's a limited amount of success, happiness, love, etc, to go round, which means that when others are successful, happy or loved, that means that there's less chance that you will be and vice versa. We can contrast this with an abundance mindset, which is the view that there's enough to go around for everyone, other people's success doesn't make it any less likely that you will be successful, and so on. 1:33 I want to talk to you about how having a scarcity mindset creates problems for academics. And I want to suggest some solutions to those problems. Now, academia itself is a masterclass in maintaining a scarcity mindset, simply because many of the things that we really want in our jobs and our professional lives in general are scarce. There are scarce resources for us to chase at every single career stage. So good academic jobs are hard to find. Competition for PhD funding and grant money is really fierce. Academic publishers for both books and articles are picky. The system of ranking universities and departments means that competition is zero sum, your university and your department climbing the ranks comes at the expense of other universities and departments. It's really everywhere. And although I'm focusing on academia here, there are of course, analogies in other lines of work, too. Now, while we do often have to compete for scarce resources if we want to succeed, having a scarcity mindset can lead us to make certain bad choices. It leads us to grab at what's on offer for us. And when we do that, we stop ourselves working towards what we really want. I started noticing this a while ago, when several of my clients were doing something puzzling. Successful mid-career people were coming to me with an attitude of 'meh, I've got the job I thought I wanted, but it's not giving me what I thought it would give me', or just 'my career's just not turning out the way that I thought it would'. And in the course of our coaching sessions together, I would notice a pattern. I'd notice that they would have long been guided by some goal - work on project x, get a job at university y or whatever it might be. But they would have spent their entire careers to date, not reaching that goal. And I don't mean that they tried to reach it and completely failed, but rather that they'd made choices that took them close to their goal without actually achieving it. So instead of working on project x, which was their goal, they ended up working on projects that were you know, like x in certain ways, in the same discipline as x or in the same ballpark. Or instead of getting a job at university y, which is what they wanted, they ended up accepting a job at a roughly similar university that wasn't y. And these things would happen without ever really having tried to work on project x or at university y. And they made these choices quite early on in their careers. It wasn't that they spent time trying to get to where they wanted to be, and then ended up taking the runner-up option after a period of time of not getting anywhere, or after realising that for whatever reason, getting to where they wanted to go just wasn't going to work out for them. Instead, they hadn't even really seriously tried to get where they wanted to go. And so career wise, it was as if their 5:00 GPS settings were a bit off. Like when you put a postcode into Google Maps, and it points to somewhere half a mile away from where you actually want to be. They were getting close to that goal, but without hitting it. And they weren't even trying to hit their goal. Because as soon as an okay opportunity came along to do something other than what they really wanted to do, they opted to do that instead. And that often closed off their options to move closer to where they wanted to be. And by the time they came to me, people like this are disillusioned and frustrated. They're sometimes beating themselves up about being dissatisfied about not hitting their goal. They tell themselves to shut up and be grateful for getting as close as they had, when so many other people don't get anywhere near that. If you've ever told yourself to shut up and feel grateful, you need to go and listen to Episode 1 of this podcast on toxic gratitude as soon as you finish listening to this. So the way that these people ended up thinking is that having got so close to their goal, they just shouldn't care that they hadn't actually reached their goal. What was maybe most puzzling of all is that even though they hadn't tried very hard to get where they wanted to be, they'd come to believe that hitting the goal that they wanted wasn't possible, that it was an unrealistic pipe dream. Now, why were they doing this? Why aim at something close to what you want, but not quite what you want? Why not hold out for whatever it is you want? Well, every individual is different, of course. But here's a pattern that I've noticed. I've noticed that often, people like this are afraid to hold out for their goal for reasons to do with scarcity. And what that meant for them is that when opportunities came along to do something other than work towards their goal, they were afraid to turn down those opportunities. They had a feeling of, if I pass this up, nothing this good will ever come my way again. Here's an example. A couple of weeks ago, an academic friend of mine was approached by a publisher who asked her to write a book on a topic that she's not particularly enthusiastic about. She's already in the process of writing a book and taking on another one before finishing the first would mean taking on an unmanageable amount of work. But even so, she was seriously considering this offer. I mean, it was an offer from a publisher to write a book and it had just landed in her lap. What a stroke of luck. Surely, she'd be mad to turn it down. I pointed out to her that she's viewing all of this through the lens of scarcity. She was taking a 'beggars can't be choosers' approach. But she's not a beggar. 7:52 It wasn't a stroke of luck that this publisher had approached her. And it wasn't an act of charity or anything like that. They've approached her because of her reputation, because of her qualifications and her experience. And that reputation, qualifications, and experience puts her in a strong position to publish a book on a topic she wants to write about and at a time that will work for her. She doesn't have to entertain this non ideal option. Now this 'beggars can't be choosers' attitude, I think, has a lot to do with imposter syndrome, which we covered in the previous episode of this podcast, Episode 11. When an opportunity comes our way, imposter syndrome makes us view it as a stroke of luck. It's just fallen from the sky and landed in our lap. Wow. Lucky us. But in fact, it's not luck at all, or at least a large part of it isn't luck. My friend was approached by a publisher because the publisher decided she's someone whose research is worth publishing. If you've been offered a job, it's because that employer thinks you're worth employing. It's because of you that these opportunities are coming your way. And whatever it is about you that has attracted opportunities in the past is going to keep attracting opportunities in the future. The problem is that when we have imposter syndrome, we overlook whatever it is about us that is bringing opportunities our way. And that means that making opportunities happen is not something that's within our control. It's all down to luck. So we can't afford to be selective. If an opportunity comes our way, even if it's not quite what we want, we'd better grab it and be thankful because the chances of getting anything better ever again are vanishingly small. And the result of all this when we have a scarcity mindset is that our lives are shaped not by progress towards what we most want, but by what we're afraid to say no to. Because getting the life we want isn't just about working towards what we want, it's also about steering clear of what isn't what we want. So what can we do about this? How can we stop ourselves 10:00 being derailed by scarcity? I'm going to make a few suggestions to you about this. The first is that you get clear about exactly what it is that you do want. Now, that sounds obvious, but too often people don't do this, at least not in any detail. And sometimes people are even afraid to think seriously and clearly about what sort of life they want. They feel like they've got their head in the clouds that they need to be realistic. Now, if you need help with working out what sort of life you want, check out Episode 5 of this podcast, 'Bitch, do you even dream?' I've got a few tools and techniques there for you to try. Now, this is important, because if you're not clear about what you want, then it's easy to get distracted. It's easy to look at opportunities that come your way and think, 'Well, I suppose this isn't a million miles from what I want'. Because what you want is so vague and undefined, that almost anything fits it. On the other hand, knowing what you want, having a clear vision of what your ideal life looks like, feels like, sounds like, and so on - that all makes it easier to see how and why new opportunities that come along might not quite fit. And it also makes it easy to carve out your own next steps proactively, so that you're not just sitting back and waiting for opportunities to come your way. Now, the next technique you can use to protect yourself from being distracted by non ideal opportunities is when an opportunity comes your way and you find yourself seriously considering taking it ask yourself, 'would I be tempted by this opportunity if I was confident that a similar opportunity would be available a month from now, or six months from now, or a year, or whatever it might be?' If the answer to that is a clear no, then it's worth giving some serious consideration to how you're managing your choices. I mean, this is all context dependent, of course, sometimes we really can't afford to risk turning something down. So if you're worried about paying the bills next month, and a very non ideal job comes your way, then of course, you're going to want to consider it. But often, opportunities are not like that. Often we overestimate how once in a lifetime they really are. And we underestimate how rosy things could be for us without them. A related question to ask here is, 'is this the sort of opportunity that I could make happen at a later date if I wanted to?' It's not within our power to conjure any opportunity out of thin air, of course, but we do have more control than we often realise. In the case of my friend who was approached by a publisher and was seriously considering taking on a book that she really didn't have time to write, I pointed out to her that she could afford to finish what she was currently working on, and then approach a publisher herself when she was ready and when she had an idea for a new project. It seemed that she really hadn't considered this option. Sometimes when we're offered an opportunity, especially if it feels a bit flattering, we can react a little bit like people react to those limited time offers that you see on websites, you know, the sort of thing, 'This discounted deal ends in 15 hours, 42 minutes and 33 seconds'. Now marketing professionals know that this gets people buying - that aura of scarcity means that they act before stopping to think about whether they might be able to get as good a deal later on, perhaps without even thinking about whether they want the thing anyway. Be careful not to do that to yourself. Once in a lifetime opportunities, by definition, don't come around very often. Which means that the chances are that this opportunity you're considering really isn't a once in a lifetime opportunity. There's really no rush. Finally, here's a really important question to ask yourself, the next time attempting opportunity comes your way. And that's 'what would I be giving up if I were to take this opportunity?' Now FOMO, fear of missing out, can lead us to grab at opportunities that might on balance not be ideal for us. But FOMO shouldn't just apply to what you might miss out on if you pass up that opportunity. It also applies to what you're going to miss out on if you do take the opportunity. So will accepting the opportunity take you further away from your goal? Will it slow you down? Will it mean that you take longer to reach your goal? To help you think about all this, take a moment to zoom out. So five years from now, what do you think you're more likely to regret, taking this opportunity or not taking it? And while you're answering that question, try reframing it. So instead of thinking in terms of taking this opportunity, when it's something that 15:00 doesn't quite fit what you want, instead, try thinking in terms of settling for this opportunity. So are you sure you want to settle for it? Is now the time to consider that? Are you ready for it? Have you already given your primary goal your absolute best shot? And if not, why is considering this opportunity even on your radar? Maybe you need to stop thinking of your goals as unrealistic pipe dreams and start thinking of them as ambitions. It's okay to hold out for you want. Thanks for listening.
I'm Dr Rebecca Roache and you've been listening to The Academic Imperfectionist. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe on whatever podcast app you like to use, and please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts and sharing the podcast with any friends who you think might find it useful. You can take a screenshot on your phone and send it over to them. For more information and updates about me, the podcast, or my coaching, or just to get in touch and say hi, please visit the website, academicimperfectionist.com, or follow me on twitter @academicimp or on Facebook at Academic Iperfectionist. Thank you for listening. I'll see you next time.
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