#15: Help! I have brain fog!
Last week, you were storming it. Hitting your writing targets. Keeping up with emails. Getting everything done (well, more or less). So, why is everything suddenly such a struggle? Why is it that you can barely remember your own name, let alone find anything intelligent to say about ... well, anything?
Congratulations, you have brain fog. But also, your reaction to it is probably causing you some problems too. Don't worry, though - The Academic Imperfectionist has fought through her own brain fog to pull you out of your mental swamp.
In this episode, you're going to learn:
how to sidestep the self-blame that is making it hard for you to see a way out of the fog,
how your idea of what sustainable productivity looks like is unrealistic, and how to reset it,
how to switch into 'safe mode' so that you can troubleshoot your productivity problems without dropping any balls,
how to protect what's important from what's urgent, even when you're feeling depleted.
Here are the references mentioned in the episode:
Episode transcript:
Are you struggling to get anything done at the moment, including thinking? You're suffering from brain fog. Here's what to do.
You're listening to The Academic Imperfectionist. I'm Dr. Rebecca Roache. I'm a coach and a philosopher at the University of London, and week by week, I'll be drawing on philosophical analysis and coaching insights to help you dump perfectionism and flourish on your own terms.
Hello imperfectionists. Over the past couple of weeks, I've encountered countless people - clients, but also colleagues and friends - who are complaining that they're not getting anything done at the moment. They're saying things like, 'I just can't seem to get myself going'; 'I feel like my brain isn't working properly'; 'A few weeks ago, I was tearing through the stuff I needed to get done, but now I'm struggling even to look at my emails'. I'm feeling this way too. I usually start the day by writing a list of what I need to get done, and on a good day, I'll tick almost everything off. But over the past few days, not only am I not getting everything done, I'm not even getting as far as writing the list. There's a colloquial term for these sorts of symptoms: brain fog. It's a problem with cognitive function, memory, attention, alertness, focus, motivation - thinking, basically. So what's going on? And how do we claw our way out of it? Well, let me set the scene here by noting that this idea of clawing our way out of it is part of the problem. For many of us, when we have a productive streak, you know, a week, a month, or whatever of feeling like we're really nailing it, we don't pause to congratulate ourselves and celebrate how well we're doing. Instead, we tell ourselves that we're doing no better than we ought to be, and that this is how things need to be from now on. We take productive streaks and turn them into our baselines, not because this level of productivity is sustainable, but because this is the level of consistent productivity we need to achieve in order to feel okay about ourselves. When we drop below that level, as we inevitably do from time to time, we start obsessing about how we can get back into it. We become like gamblers who are obsessed with making back that money they lost on that last game. We tell ourselves that we ought to be able to get back to our baseline level. And when we find that we can't, we get frustrated with ourselves, and we blame ourselves for our lack of productivity. If this sounds familiar, then brain fog is just one of your problems. Your reaction to it lands you with two further problems. One is having an unrealistic view of your baseline level of productivity. The other is your tendency to blame yourself for falling below that level. In this episode, I want to unpack all this. I'll do it in reverse, starting with self blame. So let's kick off by noting that responding to the problem of brain fog by launching into self blame is actually a pretty strange way to respond to a problem. We don't do this for problems that are more tangible. If you're trying to walk out of your house and you find the front door unexpectedly bolted shut, you wouldn't persist in walking into the door again and again, getting increasingly frustrated and telling yourself that you had no problem leaving the house yesterday, and that you just need to get your bloody act together. And if your car won't start, you don't sit there for hours turning the key again and again and telling yourself that you're obviously not trying hard enough. Instead, you'd pause, recognise that there's a problem, and think about what might be the best way to address it. You wouldn't immediately leap to the conclusion that the problem is your fault. It's just one of those things, a pain in the arse, something that you need to deal with, but not something that reflects on your worth as a human being. When you find yourself being less productive than you'd like, on the other hand, your anxiety has you skip straight to self evaluation. You don't see it as just one of those things and something that you need to deal with. Instead, you feel like a failure. You're frustrated, not with the problem, but with yourself. Because in your mind, it's your fault that the problem exists. This self blame means that you don't pause to reflect on what might be causing the problem and what might be the best way of dealing with it. Instead, you dial up the pressure on yourself, which is the equivalent of running into a bolted door or turning the key again and again in a car that's clearly dead. But what if you were to approach things differently? What if you simply tried to troubleshoot your brain fog and banned yourself from considering any explanation that involves ascribing blame to yourself? Believe it or not, if you did this, you'd be spoilt for choice with possible explanations. One set of explanations centres around COVID. Brain fog is recognised as a consequence of COVID infection by, among others, the NHS and Harvard Medical School. It's also associated with COVID vaccination - there's even a name for this: 'vax fog'. And the changes to our lifestyle as a result of COVID, too, are resulting in what has been called 'pandemic brain' in The Guardian and 'the fog of late pandemic' in the Atlantic. I'll include references to all of these in the show notes for this episode. There are plenty of non COVID related possible explanations too: stress, exhaustion, depression, anxiety, the menopause, all of these can give rise to brain fog. Now, I'm not any sort of medical authority, but in the course of reading up about this for this episode, I didn't come across anyone offering advice along the lines of: just try harder, you useless waste of space. Instead, the advice from doctors and so on seems to run along sensible sounding, perhaps even boring lines: make sure you exercise, get enough sleep, find time to relax, connect with friends, meditate, see your doctor if you're concerned. You might keep that in mind next time you're tempted to blame yourself for the mental slump you're experiencing. And while you're exercising, going to bed early, taking time to relax, and so on, let's consider another dimension of all this: the idea that there's a baseline level of productivity that you need to get back to; a baseline that reveals itself when we have thoughts like, 'I was getting lots done last week, why is it such a struggle this week?' and 'How do I get out of this slump and get back on track?' Whatever that baseline level looks like for you, here's something to consider. Where did you get the idea that there is such a baseline level of productivity; a level of constant, consistent, sustainable activity that you can keep up - well, forever? Does it come from hard evidence you've gathered about yourself? I'm going to guess not, since you're listening to a podcast episode about not being able to keep up with your own productivity standards. Or does it come from somewhere emotional, from a bargain that you've made with yourself that says, 'If I can just keep up this level of productivity, then I don't have to feel bad about myself'? If that's the case, then you're on a dangerous path. If your productivity is linked to your self worth, then you open the door to productivity anxiety, which sends you into a spiral in which underperforming makes you feel bad about yourself, which results in even more underperformance and so on. If that's you, then you need to go and listen to episode #9 of this podcast, 'Cancel your productivity anxiety'. But what if there is no baseline level of productivity? Or if there is, what if it's much more prone to fluctuation and variation, then you might want to accept? What if it's just how it is that getting things done can be pretty straightforward one month and an uphill struggle the next? If that sounds unlikely, consider that that's basically how it is with other activities. Think of some activities that you engage in regularly, preferably ones that aren't tied up with your feelings of self worth. So some examples might be walking, hanging out with friends, watching Netflix, meditating, reading novels, crafting, and so on. Isn't it just the case that these activities come in waves or even seasons? For a few weeks or months, you might walk for an hour every day. But then life gets in the way and you get out of the habit only to pick it up again later. Or perhaps you go through a phase of relaxing with a novel in the evenings, but then stuff happens - you can't decide what to read next, or you end up missing interaction with other humans and plan a few evenings zoom calls with friends instead - and your daily novel reading falls by the wayside for a while. Unless we're invested in strictly keeping up a baseline level of some activity or other, we just accept that this is how it is. In fact, we barely notice it. We do notice though, when falling below the baseline leads us to feel bad about ourselves, as happens with our productivity levels. What can we do about it though? Productivity might come in waves, but that doesn't help when there's a deadline staring us in the face or when other people are relying on us to pull a certain amount of weight. Well, let me give you some practical suggestions here. First, and most important, drop the self blame. Not only does it feel unpleasant, but it stops you from thinking clearly about how to move forward. When you stop blaming yourself, you make it easier for yourself to think constructively and dispassionately about possible solutions. Those solutions might include getting more sleep, taking some time off, spending time with friends - these things are all typical of the advice that doctors are giving about how to deal with brain fog. But they're also things that you're probably inclined to overlook when you're blaming yourself because, after all, they're all enjoyable, and if you think you're to blame for your own decreased productivity, you probably also think that you don't deserve to do enjoyable things. Next, identify your 'safe mode'. Your computer has a safe mode - a way of operating with reduced functionality so that identifying and solving problems can happen more easily - and you should have one too. Draw up a list of those things that are absolutely non negotiable. Things that have to be done today or this week, otherwise something bad will happen. And by something bad, I don't mean 'I'll feel guilty about letting people down'. You've dropped the self blame, remember? This list should be pretty short. Focus on those things and - this bit's important - celebrate your success when you get through them. Use the time you freed up by dropping the non essential tasks to troubleshoot your brain fog and experiment with solutions. Take naps, go for a hike, learn to crochet, dance badly to terrible music, whatever. Observe the effect these things have on you - on your energy levels and mental state. Anything that makes you feel perkier needs to become a permanent fixture. Finally, draw up a plan to protect what's important from what's urgent. That suggestion I just made to focus on what absolutely has to be done today is a short term fix, not a long term strategy. That's because it prioritises the urgent over the important. Completing that online fire safety course HR have been pestering you about might be urgent, but it's probably not important to you. On the other hand, things like finishing your writing project, getting fitter, getting your finances in order, and spending time with family, are all important but usually not urgent. Many of us fall into the trap of firefighting. With limited time and energy, we allow what's urgent to push aside what's important, and we devote ourselves to responding to demands imposed on us by other people at the expense of doing things we care about. When our energy levels are low, we're even more vulnerable than usual to that. So give some thought to how you can prioritise what's important, even when you're feeling depleted. For example, suppose that you've set yourself a daily word target for a writing project. That might be too demanding when you're experiencing brain fog. So when that happens, perhaps you could halve the word target, or edit something you've already drafted instead, or look up some references, or just do some relevant reading. Don't be all-or-nothing about this, about the standards that you usually expect of yourself. There's room for compromise. But for compromise to be possible, you need to notice when the standards you usually set for yourself are, for whatever reason, too demanding. Accept this without blaming yourself and adjust your standards accordingly. You can even prepare in advance for this. When things are going well keep a list of undemanding tasks that you can work your way through when you're not feeling so good. I know it's hard to put all this into practice. The instinct to blame ourselves is strong, and in a way completely understandable. We're capable successful people who expect a lot of ourselves. Our high standards are exactly what help us to push ourselves and do well when we're physically and mentally capable of it. But when we're not, those high standards cause trouble. That scenario I described earlier of finding the door out of your house inexplicably bolted shut and responding by running into it again and again while telling yourself that you ought to be able to get through it - keep that image in mind when you start to beat yourself up. Your self blame is about as constructive as running into the locked door for the 50th time. Stop. recognise that there's a problem and give some thought to how you'd go about solving it if it really weren't your fault. See you next time.
I'm Dr. Rebecca Roache, and you've been listening to The Academic Imperfectionist. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe on whatever podcast app you like to use, and please consider leaving a review on Apple podcasts and sharing the podcast with any friends who you think might find it useful - you can take a screenshot on your phone and send it over to them. For more information and updates about me, the podcast, or my coaching, or just to get in touch and say hi, please visit the website - academicimperfectionist.com - or follow me on Twitter @AcademicImp or on Facebook at AcademicImperfectionist. Thank you for listening and see you next time.
Enjoy the show?
Please leave a review in Apple Podcasts.
Don’t miss an episode - subscribe using the links below!